For I know the plans




I am thainkful that Krstian Stanfill could put my emotions into words when he wrote this song:

I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

September 21, 2012 is a day I won’t soon forget.  It had been one month of feeling  “under the weather” to say it lightly.  I took the kids to dinner and Jacob was out at the ball game with his dad.  At dinner I ran into a friend and then as we went to leave I began to hemorrhage.  So, like any sane person (HA HA), I called my mother, updated her on the circumstance, took the kiddos to movie night at church then went to the store to buy new bottoms.  We went to the ER and proceeded to wait about an hour, and for me most of it spent in the bathroom  in order to not be gross.  When we finally got into the room they were shocked I was still standing, and then, just like that, I wasn’t.  It was quickly decided a DNC was necessary to stop the bleeding.    All those levels and numbers and counts were below where they should be in order for them to offer a reason of how I was still standing.  And what I thought would be a quick fix, and “let’s just move on” became an ordeal.  

Jacob Peterson September 23, 2012 ·

BRANDY STATUS UPDATE!

My Bran had a tough night last night. Due to the transfusions she was up with a sore back & neck and vomiting all last night. Not good, but normal reaction to transfusions.

The bleeding seems to be under control and her Hemoglobin is up to 9.0!!! Which is WONDERFUL. Before they release her they want to make sure that her pain level & vomiting are down. She has an MRI...
today as well.

The specialist, Dr. Lynch, who will ultimately be performing the Laparoscopic Hysterectomy has been in touch with the hospital doctors. She has consultation with him on Tuesday and hopefully the Robot Room is available for a Thursday surgery.

We appreciate your thoughts and prayers! Keep sending them our way. Thank You!

Even now I am still learning, and I know that that a normal hemoglobin level in an Adult women: 12 to 16 gm/dL.  So, if you look you will see mine was UP TO 9.0, if I remember correctly it was down to about a 4ish.  The time between the 21 and the 24 was a blur, because then this came

Jacob Peterson September 24, 2012 · Merriam, KS ·
Brandy has had a tough day at the hospital today. For many reasons we have decided to go through the Hysterectomy this evening. She is currently in the OR being prepped. There is an absolutely WONDERFUL team working on her. Prayers have been answered in order to get this group of doctors on such short notice. Nurse Kelly will be calling me from the OR with constant updates. Keep the Prayers & well-wishes coming. Thank u all!

What I remember in that moment of decision was that I was surrounded by people that cared for me, and the only thoughts I had were of knowing this too would pass.  God is sovereign, and I wanted to “get back” all the time I could lose.  I was drastically aware of what this meant for their life, even more than mine. 

I LOVE my husband and our children, what was going to become of them?
What would be their next?

And I have always been confident in the decision we made, even when emotions flare, and the weight of wanting to hold a baby in my arms again tries to drag me under.  I TRUST in the Lord who created me, who knows what my days will hold.  I remember that conversation and how these decisions were being weighted and measured and in my silence and pain.  Yet, none of that mattered compared to the fear and love I saw painted all over the face of my husband, this man I LOVE, and the children God had given us and then all I had left were these prayers for my family and so I let go and I trusted them to God's plans Romans 8:26 in the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
And then

Jacob Peterson September 25, 2012 · Merriam, KS ·

What a ridiculous amount of pain she has to go through! My wife is the strongest woman I know. I love you Brandy with all my heart and only wish I could somehow transfer the pain to myself. I would gladly carry it. Lord reign your healing touch on my bride.

Not sure how the next four days went, I know I was held in the hands of grace.

 Jacob Peterson September 30, 2012 · Lenexa, KS ·

BRANDY UPDATE:
Since her bloating has not gone down a CT of Brandy's abdomen was done . They discovered iles & looping along with a ureteral obstruction in the right ureter. They suspect that it is either a hematoma or a stitch that may have been placed on the ureter during the hysterectomy.  The Radiology Report shows a tissue edema in her abdomen, no bevel obstruction and her kidneys and ureter are normal size.

She is back on an antibiotic IV and Potassium IV. They will be... putting her through 3 rounds of potassium tonight and have her scheduled for a Stent to be put in in the morning.

Bandy is doing well, but the Potassium is causing pretty decent pain in her arm. A fairly usual side effect, but sucky.There is also a plan to put her on Lasix diuretic to help "flush" her out. 
PS: I would compare this to childbirth IN MY ARM!  It sucked. A LOT

I plan to be there tomorrow while they are putting the stent in so I can get an answer as to whether the obstruction is a hematoma or a misplaced stitch. I'm pretty depressed that I don't have my wife back home yet... hopefully this turns out to be a SMALL setback and she recovers quickly to get home soon. Let the prayers and good wishes continue. Thank you all!

More hospital time because…
Jacob Peterson October 2, 2012 · Lenexa, KS ·

BRANDY UPDATE:

Yesterday (Monday 10/01/12) morning Brandy went through a procedure where they try to put a stent in to see if her right ureter is cut, closed or just narrow. If the stent didn't go through it could be bad news, WELL, the stent went in just fine! (Praise God) The contrast X-ray they did shows that her Kidney and bladder both look great. There just happens to be a 1/2 inch area in her right Ureter that is narrowed down. This could be from any one of multiple ...issues: A stitch that is wrapped around the ureter, scar tissue on/near the ureter or possibly swollen irritation near the ureter due to the stitches from the hysterectomy. In any case, Brandy is doing GREAT (compared to how she WAS doing). She will be coming home tomorrow! YAY It has been a long time coming.

There will be a 4-6 week recovery period she will going through at home from the hysterectomy. Somewhere between 3 - 6 weeks Brandy will need to go in & have the stent removed. If all is healed and well, the ureter should maintain its size with no issues. If it happens to close shut again after the stent is removed there may have to be an operation to discover what is causing the ureter to close. Hopefully this is not the case and all is well.

I cannot begin to say how excited I am to be getting my wife back in the house. I've missed the DICKENS out of her... can't sleep a friggin' wink w/o her here.


 
And finally:
Brandy Peterson  October 3, 2012
I am home.

Psalm 23  (ERV)

A song of David.

1  The Lord is my shepherd.
I will always have everything I need.[a]
2 He gives me green pastures to lie in.
He leads me by calm pools of water.
3 He restores my strength.
He leads me on right paths[b] to show that he is good.
4 Even if I walk through a valley as dark as the grave,[c]
I will not be afraid of any danger, because you are with me.
Your rod and staff[d] comfort me.
5 You prepared a meal for me in front of my enemies.
You welcomed me as an honored guest.[e]
My cup is full and spilling over.
6 Your goodness and mercy will be with me all my life,
and I will live in the Lord’s house[f] a long, long time.[g]


         Looking back at all of this, reading through what I hadn't managed to do, even in two years, I am blessed by God's faithfulness in my life.  It was a slow recovery process that taught me to fully rely on HIS timing, not my own.  It taught me to lean on the generosity of others, and to not be fearful of being "burden", because I would not consider others a burden.  It changed the relationship of Jacob and our children, it changed my view of motherhood, friendship, and working.  It changed me, and allowed me to SAVOR the small moments of grace, of blessings, and it reminded me
To Laugh Along the Way.

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