Praise, Faith, Grace: And the meaning of names

       After having our first two girls I was convinced, when we had out third child she would also be a girl. Thankfully, for the love of sanity through hormones, God blessed us with a boy.  Once again, my opportunity to say, I am so thankful He know better than me what He is doing.  Yet, even as I went into the delivery room, I had a girl's name picked out, it was Kennedy Grace.

Before the year was out, Hannah had conceived and given birth to a son. She named him Samuel, explaining, "I asked God for him."
1 Samuel 1:20 

       I had a boy, we named him Brice, because it means "leader of men." His father bears this middle name, and it was a way to honor this amazing man, and to rest confidently through the trials of growth, in what God will do in our son's life. I bear witness to B-boy as I watch him wrestle with many emotions, and struggle at school, and still, this young leader, has his heartbeat set to his Father. I see his compassion for younger children, and I hear his prayers for a little brother. I have wiped his tears as he holds a funeral for a frog he and his sister found at the lake. I am embraced in a tight bear hug whenever he needs one, or thinks I am lacking in affection. I smile inwardly with gratitude each time he still holds my hand at 10. He does not fully understand yet, that God is working all things for his glory, and it will be amazing to see where this journey takes him. He was the perfect addition, God's blessing to his two sisters, who also live in their names. Even now, we have times when we sit around, look at pictures of adventures past, and someone asks me to retell the story or meaning of their name full. Let me share what their middle names mean to me, and the ways God has woven truth in my life.

      Praise:  Our first daughter was exactly that, praise for all God has done in our lives. Praise, at 21 when I am still in school, and terrified of what's next, that He has us in his arms. Praise in her infancy, when the sleep is fleeting and I fall asleep on the floor of her room in exhaustion, and she is still there sleeping safely. Praise that he trusted us to be her parents. Praise when she started school and was so happy to be in Kindergarten. Praise when we struggled to understand why reading is so hard and involved more tears than joy. Praise because this young woman, now standing an inch or two taller than me, will start high school in three months. Praise when the hormones show up and the tears flow, because she does still come to me to listen, to hold her, and to wipe her tears. I will praise Him when we walk through emotional valleys, and be so grateful on the mountains.I will praise him in 4 years for still trusting us to be her parents as she enters adulthood. Praise as she finds what He has called her to become.

      Faith: This little one came to us one month early, and while delivering in ICU at a local university hospital. (READ: 16 strangers in and of my hospital room to assure we were okay and to learn all about this process of childbirth with a maternal heart condition.) Faith when the fear gripped me because I now had a newborn baby girl, and a 22 month old toddler in my home and a husband that had to be back at work within the week. Faith that Abba would see this through, because I didn't know how to do it all, had to stop graduate work, and didn't know what my next would be. Faith each Sunday as I took the children to church to hear Him again, to find a friend, to connect somewhere. Faith as this "little girl with a big name" grew into preschool age and the Sunday preschool director asked me (AS A FIRST TIME VISITOR) if I would like a copy of "The Strong Willed Child"? Trust me, I already knew this about her....  Faith when finances are hard and there is too much month at the end of the money. Faith when marriage isn't what I had envisioned, and certainly not what the sitcoms portrayed. Faith as I realize, prior to her FIRST birthday, we are going down this pregnancy road again. Faith in her school journey when she is so different, and secure in herself that finding friends is hard. Faith as we enter the last year of elementary school and she still speaks of "no friends". Faith that she will move mountains simply because she believes God is who he says he is, and she is called to move mountains. Faith in this dream in her heart to reopen a closed mall to be a home for the homeless. Faith that God has begun a good work her and will follow through until completion.

      Grace: The little girl who did not come to our home, because God knew better, is this word I still wrestle through. It is not so much the word, because it is beautiful to say, rather, the idea, that just Hid grace is enough.  That I am enough. I am thirty five years old, and I have usually been okay with aging.  I associate age with wisdom, and wisdom with grace.  Grace to make a mistake and know this one mistake (or sometimes many) do not define all that is me.  Grace for others because each of our journeys look different. Grace simply to have the freedom of all that God promises. Grace to believe i am a forgiven, and dearly loved daughter of a King. Grace for our children because God loves them more. Grace in our marriage when God is building our character, and it's uncomfortable. Grace when I rip out the carpet of our house because I was tired of it, and so we live on plywood sub-floors for two years. Grace when I stain the cabinets without prepping them. Grace in new career adventures. Grace simply to breathe deep, look at all He has made, and to feel his unending love for me, my husband, our children, extended family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, strangers. Grace to laugh along the way.

By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that’s not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!
Romans 5:1-4 
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